Early Interview Week and the search for the Third City

I know I’ve been talking big about not needing the System, but I’ve decided to apply to firm jobs for next summer. I need to stop ignoring money. It doesn’t make me feel more fulfilled. Just broke.

Early Interview Week (EIW) takes place the week before 2L classes start - which is funny because you’re planning what to do next summer before fall even starts. In order to get interviews students have to bid on the law firms they want. Based on the bidding, some law firms will get your resume and some won’t. Then the law firms that get your resume may or may not offer you an interview. It’s quite the ladder to climb.

There are many factors that go into choosing the firms you’ll bid on, but a major factor is location. Summer Associate positions often turn into real jobs after graduation, so you don’t want to go to Chicago if you have no intention of moving to Chicago. But at the same time career counselors tell you to cast a wide net and not limit yourself to just one place. True to lawyer-form, they tell give you completely contradictory advice and then tell you to choose.

I would love to stay in D.C. next summer - that would be so EASY. But after my career planning meeting I also conceded Boston (my hometown) as another possibility. Boston, it turns out, is also a popular summer destination (it must be the lack of humidity) so my counselor suggested I choose a third city. Here are some factors I’m using in my Third City Balancing Test.

Third City Balancing Test Factors:

Practicality In Bidding

Existing Social Network

Geographical Ties (this helps me in their eyes, not necessarily them in mine)

After Graduation Preferences

So here are the results:

Philadelphia

• I have a small social network there that can be revitalized if given lead time.
• It’s pretty easy to get an interview - not many people bid on Philly.
• I went to undergrad there.
• I could possibly move there after graduation - it’s definitely my kind of city (probably more so than DC)

Chicago

• Another city that is easier to bid on, though not as easy as Philly.
• I have a major TFA network currently residing in Chicago.
• I have very little connection - except that I’ve  been there an like it.
• I’m not sure I see myself moving there.  But maybe?  Wouldn’t rule it out.

San Francisco/Silicon Valley

• Bidding is definitely harder than Philly and Chicago.
• Social network - slim, would have to dig around, but I know a couple people
• Not really any geographical ties - again, I’ve been there and it’s awesome.
• If I had a good reason - like a high paying job, for instance - I would move to CA in a heart beat.

On these facts, it looks like Philadelphia is the big winner (although thoughts of beautiful San Francisco keep entering my head.) EIW is only one way I’m applying for jobs, though, so I can incorporate New Orleans via a different process (none of the firms interviewing during EIW are from that great city.)  Because if any city wins on the factors, it’s probably The Big Easy.

Photo credits: njteton, laffy4k, kangotraveler

Why abusing a social worker is the same as abusing a child

Another tragedy of a failing foster care system in D.C. - a 4-month old baby died as his 15 year old mother rolled over in her sleep and smothered him. This is the third time in recent years that a child death has sent Child Services (CFSA in D.C.) into a panic about accountability.

The Washington Post today explained the beginning shift in how these tragedies are handled as a function of a failing system. The old approach was to “hold someone accountable” by firing whoever was involved in the child’s social work case. Other cases then got piled on to remaining social workers, increasing the likelihood of more cases falling through the cracks. People get discouraged and don’t show up for work - they’re being held accountable for an impossible job. The social worker who was assigned to the 4-month old was interviewed:

She said morale is so low that people often do not show up for work, and she often took cases because she was the only one in that day. “It’s the luck of the draw,” she said. “It does not mean that they are bad or slow. It means they came to work that day.” The Washington Post

This is what it was like teaching in a failing public school. Teachers wouldn’t show up, and we couldn’t get substitutes, so the kids would get placed in other classrooms. Once you had an extra ten children (of a different grade level) in your classroom for a couple days you started to think you could use a day off too. Then test scores came back without improvement and everybody got reprimanded, including the children.

I’m generally skeptical of government running or requiring things. The two areas where I’m not skeptical is in child services and public education. Children can’t protect or provide for themselves, and the economy (and country) will only get stronger if children are given a chance to rise above what their parents have provided for them. An inquisitive spirit won’t teach itself to read if there are no books and it has nothing to eat. That being said, these two areas of government, child services and public schools, need to somehow incentivize excellence in their employees so that they will have enough staff to fill the jobs. This means building morale and understanding when it is the SYSTEM that needs to be held accountable, not the individuals. Otherwise we are living in 1984 where the truth is labeled nonsense and problems are renamed as their opposites. Luckily CFSA appears to be throwing more man power at the problem of backlogged neglect and abuse cases rather than just firing people. The problem is that this “man power” is coming from within their already thinly spread ranks. Until it becomes attractive and lucrative to be a good social worker or a good teacher these problems will exist. But how can that be done (besides higher salaries)? I think about it all time. Anyone have any ideas?

Photo credit: freeparking

Should I go to law school? (and why I don’t care what you think)

I answered the law school question a year and a half ago. I didn’t doubt my decision then, but have found myself doubting my decision since. A look back at my reasoning, however, refreshes my perspective.

Where do my doubts come from?

Noise Noise Noise

Noise comes from everywhere.  It comes from career counselors, family members, friends, books like Law School Confidential, websites like The Brazen Careerist, magazines like U.S. News, and (sometimes most frequently) from people you don’t know very well and whose opinion you did not ask for.  What makes it Noise, and not good advice, is the negative, prohibitive, inside the box tone with which it is disseminated.  That’s not to say that some of this information isn’t helpful - the world of law school advice just happens to be a very harsh place if you can’t specifically articulate and thoroughly defend what you want to do with your career.

Some examples of Noise (usually said with a patrionizing tone):

1. Don’t go unless you know for sure that you want to be a lawyer for the rest of your life.

2. If you do public interest your debt will make you miserable.

3. If you go to a firm your lifestyle will make you miserable.

4. You will burn out.

5. If you’re not at the top of your class you’ll never get a job.

6. Why would you waste time in school?  You can make money without a JD.

7. If you want to be a do-gooder why would you spend so much money on a degree?  Isn’t that impractical?

All this negativity is paired with the overwhelming sense that you are committing yourself to an institution, whether it’s the government or a big law firm. You really feel like you’ve sold your soul.

THIS SUCKS.

Half way through my 1L year, after the novelty of being a student again wore off, I started doubting what I was doing - questioning what I had gotten myself into. My working friends had so much more freedom, their pressures were more immediate (rather than exams several months away), they had more control. Quite frankly, I felt alienated from my labor. Hmpf.

Why I really go to law school, why I’m not quitting, and how I quiet the Noise.

This is how I came to my decision to go to law school. Rather than listen to all the shoulds and the mustn’ts and the can’ts (because I was blessed to have not heard them yet), I used research and logic to make my decision. Now I just have to remind myself of it from time to time.  Here is my process. 

Abstract: Visualize myself and my career at 50.

I just close my eyes and pull up a 50 year old version of me - no thinking, just visualizing. I’m in a different country, or at least an interesting part of this one, overseeing the building of a community school. I’m in charge. Something I’ve done has made this possible. I’ve built schools before, and they have been successful. But school or not, I’ve contributed to an innovation that revitalizes communities from within. I also look like Jane Goodall and have a chimp around my neck, but that can be edited out because I don’t think that chimp has anything to do with my career.

Specific: What skills/knowledge are necessary (or at least extremely useful) to become this type of person?

I want to have the power, authority, and clout to change the world for the better.  I want to be the person with an inside understanding of the “system” so I can navigate it to meet my goals.  In social welfare the “system” is the government - and understanding it from a legal perspective will put me in a more influential position than any other.   I chose law school for the same reason I chose to be an economics major instead of an urban studies major. A better understanding of core concepts and a handle on the nitty gritty practical details gives your voice more authority when you try to influence the way things are - and makes you better at it too.  So whether I’m changing things through the public, non-profit, or private sector, I want to be the one with the legal knowledge.

Concrete: Figure out how to get those skills/knowledge, financially.

So this is the part I probably could have been smarter about. If you know you want to do public interest or use your law degree for a less lucrative venture than the big law firm, considering cheaper options is probably a good idea. I had the prestige twinkle in my eye when I applied and a desire to keep my geographical options open. Thus, I will end up with quite a bit of debt. If you know exactly where you want to start your career or have a specific field of study in mind, you can probably find an excellent program that meets your needs and costs less. And when the noise starts about how you really have to go to a top ten law school to be successful, you can remind yourself that financial freedom will probably get you further if a big firm is not your goal. 

So that’s how I cut through the Noise.  Maybe all the advice and unsolicited opinions don’t bother everyone, but I have a problem with caring too much and it starts to bother me.  So if anyone else out there is on the grad school path and getting a headache from all the Noise, you’re not the only one.  Maybe we can turn down the volume together.

Photo credit: atomicjeep

New forum for my non-law school musings

I’ve decided to keep my personal thoughts on another blog.  My random musings will be over here.  For whatever reason the RSS is not yet working - but I’m on it.

Stupid things rich people litigate

Custody court is a funny little cross section of society. On the one hand you have infuriated rich people who want the judge to decide who has won this round of bitter battles. On the other hand you have confused poor people who don’t know who is whose daddy, all trying to trick each other into paying for the paternity test first. And you have a few normal people - but their cases are really short because they’re in court for formality, usually having dealt with their personal lives themselves.

On two occasions I’ve been lucky to observe extreme pettiness in action (while waiting for our clients’ hearings.)

In DC Superior Court, everyone is told to show up at 10am and the judge calls them up one at a time. On this day, a wealthy family was up first - counsel on my case guessed upper Georgetown. The stodgy-suited father appeared to be about twenty years older than the yacht-ready mother; his expression matched his suit. The mother’s new partner sat in the back wearing khaki pants, a blue blazer, and Prada loafer - no socks.

Obvious from their expressions, the parents were too bitter to speak, which led to the appointment of a “parent coordinator” to do the talking for them. She was the subject of this particular hearing - she wanted off the case. With hair a mess and bags under her eyes she explained that the child was taking her and his parents for a ride - making demands, pitting them against each other, and being falsely entitled in general. The parent coordinator’s only hesitation in leaving the case was the message it would send the boy, letting him “win.”

“I want to talk to the boy,” the judge ordered. “Everybody out. I’ll be brief.”

As we exited we passed “the boy.” He looked 17 years old, wore his prep school blazer and khaki pants. He handed 1776, which he had brought to read, to his also yacht-ready grandparents who sat with him in the hallway. The judge was not brief. As we waited, the maternal grandmother loudly exclaimed “they’re just jealous!” several times in a shrill voice. What perfect fodder for making up stories about strangers!

The second occasion was a trial (FYI most law suits don’t get to trial) over at which expensive preschool to enroll the 3-year old son of the plaintiff and defendant. The judge prefaced this amazing litigation with “you know, you should really figure out how to make decisions for your son without getting a third party stranger involved.” Amen. The defense spent twenty minutes interrogating the prosecution’s expert witness, a child psychiatrist, trying to prove that he wasn’t an expert in preschools.

But the really poetry came when the father took the stand. He testified that he wasn’t aware in which states he paid taxes because that’s his accountant’s job. He also went on to badger the mother’s attorney, the father being an attorney himself.

This trial caused several hearings to be bumped from the day’s docket. Does one even send a 3-year old to preschool? Isn’t that like day care? And we wonder where the court’s resources go…

Take home message: people look ugly when they look angry. Note to self: when upset, relax facial muscles…

Tuesday Institutions (or - that Barbie looks cute with short hair)

This afternoon I played Barbies with my supervisor and her client (age 6). We had a great time - Lil’ Miss had cut the locks of four of her Barbies, giving them each the cute layered shaggy look. Some cheer leading also went on.

My supervisor and I were discussing the phenomenon of institutions in the lives of low-income Americans. Affluent people never have to deal with foster care, child services, sometimes public schools, and very infrequently the jail system (but courts, all the time, sure) although their actions frequently hurt their children emotionally in similar ways. As I said good bye to this little girl’s grandmother, I thought how strange it felt to be in their home, presuming to know the child’s best interests. How do you gage what is normal and what is unacceptable when it gets close to the borderline? Especially when you know neighbors who don’t have custody issues or have been reported to child services probably live the same way? I think about the kids I taught and how neglect cases could probably be substantiated for most of them, but child services could just never accommodate that many kids. The child services official in Louisiana even asked teachers to reserve reporting for severe problems that couldn’t be solved by talking to the parent ourselves (for example, a teacher might be able to resolve the child’s lack of bathing or repeated absence from school by speaking to the parent.) It’s all very strange, representing children. I’m sure instincts are learned.

Working with services for children is the best way for me to be involved in social welfare. I have a hard time wanting to provide services to people who should probably be able to help themselves. But children, by definition, can’t. And so providing health, mental health, and educational services to children may lead to adults who can help themselves and will help themselves. Or at least that’s my hope. So that maybe the existence of those institutions can be limited, and the government won’t need to keep such a close eye on the less fortunate portion of society.

I hate being that girl

You’re family will always know exactly what to say to push your buttons without doing anything you can really blame them for. Maybe it’s built up over time, maybe it’s just that a particular person is saying it, but I always find that when I get frustrated with a family member I’m particularly flared up and I need to take a break to cool off.

I experienced quite a bit of this frustration this weekend while my mother and I helped my brother move into a new room for the summer. The problem was that we couldn’t really get away from each other, and I needed a break after a full morning of not being listened to and almost everything going wrong. In addition, my family really doesn’t understand the concept of taking a 30 minute break from one another to regain sanity. In fact, a suggestion of this usually results in accusations of being ridiculous or worse.

Thus a day of button pushing and forced contact led me to hide out in the shoe section of Target and call my boyfriend. And as I opened my mouth and started talking I realized that not only did I sound crazy, but I really didn’t like the me I am when I’m frustrated with my family. My boyfriend tends to make me want to project my best self, and when I talk to him I become suddenly aware and self conscious when I’m projecting something less than that.

The conclusion from this conversation was that half the bad feelings I have when arguing with family members is that I don’t want to be someone who is frustrated with (and complaining about) family members. It’s good for me to have a reminder that I shouldn’t succumb to the cycle of family arguments. Maybe it’s time to learn how to block things out and regain inner calm without walking away from a situation. Maybe I need a mantra for this too.

1L is over - time for presents

I spent the morning leading up to my last exam browsing digital pianos on the internet, ultimately purchasing the Casio Privia PX-200, a little 1L-is-over treat for myself.  Perhaps a pricey treat, but hey, exercising creativity is important (as is using my economic stimulus check.)

I’d been pondering this digital piano for some time, but hadn’t acted.  My boyfriend said it would be sexy to see me play the piano, and while I liked the idea of being sexy, I prefer my big purchases to be free of other people’s suggestion.  So I waited and pondered and waited some more and made sure my intentions were proper.

And now it’s here.  With all its grand piano variations and unfamiliar buttons and weighted keys.  And now I can take the 11 years of piano lessons I had as a child and maybe have a hobby (or at least a party trick.)  Right now I’m busy relearning classical pieces I knew as a teenager (Chopin, in particular) and learning some bad pop for the first time (like Rascal Flatts and James Blunt.)

Any requests?

The Ghost of Attorney-Future

I met the Ghost of Attorney-Future last night on the Metro. She asked me what time the Metro stopped running so she’d know how long she had to get lost trying to find Metro Center from Union Station. I assured her she’d be fine, and with 15 minutes until the next Shady Grove train we got to talking.

She told me she’s an attorney in from NYC for a Saturday continuing education course. She’s recently started switching from doing half-tax, half-litigation to all tax because she can go home earlier. Apparently tax is so mind numbing that you can only do 5 hours at a time and are therefore able to stop and go home. Wow.

As we observed a group of decked out 20 somethings laughing loudly she commented that her friends like to get dressed up and go out on the weekends, but when she gets home on Friday afternoon the only thing she wants to do it put on jeans and sneakers.  Wow.

She asked me if I was doing Mock Trial or Journal.  I said not as of yet.  She sighed and said she did both so no one could criticize her for not doing one or the other.  But, she added, none of it matters after you get your first job.  Wow.

So what does this make me think?  I need to make sure Tiny Tim doesn’t starve.  And by Tiny Tim I mean my soul.  I need to find a legal specialty that is inherently (not just monetarily) fulfilling.  I’ll be up for suits everyday and feeling wiped on Friday IF I love what I do.

Possible Mantras:

Does this fulfill me?

What am I going to do today that makes me feel fulfilled?

How can I make law school fulfilling to me today?

Still working on it.  Thank you Ghost of Attorney Future.

Distraction is not connection: relationships and law school

Law school has a pretty bad reputation for breaking up relationships and alienating friends. Always one to believe “it can’t happen to me,” I figured I could just handle it. I mean, I handled Teach for America. Law school can’t possibly be as stressful.

I was naive. I forgot that there is more than one type of stress, and it’s the type that I forgot about that impacts relationships.

Stress Type 1: No time, no money, or “I can’t handle this.”

This consists of feeling overwhelmed and having to psych yourself up to do something. This was the type of stress I dealt with most of the time in TFA. Just straight-up too much to do in too little time. It can burn you out, but you are always aware of it and either stay away from other people or tell them “oh my God, I’m so stressed out” and they consider themselves warned. This type of stress, while intense, doesn’t really impact relationships because it happens in spurts. You can tell when you’re in a spurt, and you don’t attribute the negative feelings to your relationships.

Stress Type 2: This is hard, but I can handle it! actually, you can’t

This is the stress that I’m never aware of until my stomach is in a giant knot and I can’t sleep and my scalp starts to itch and ache. This type of stress is low level and tends to be situational, but constant. It can be caused by a competitive environment, feeling lost in life, or a long distance relationship. It starts to affect how much patience I have with strangers on the metro, or how much of a crisis it is that CVS is out of Vitamin Water. This is the type that affects relationships. It’s when you go to dinner with a close friend, maybe even a roommate, and you find yourself incredibly bored with the outing even though it was meant to be a fun “break” from whatever you were doing. More than once I’ve wondered if I was being boring or if I needed to spend some time with other friends because this friendship seemed like it was getting stale.

My Mistake: I was unaware of the extent of my stress (type 2) and blamed the fact that my friend couldn’t distract me from my problems, or that I couldn’t distract her from her problems, on the quality of the relationship. Sometimes a close friend can do a world of good by creating a distraction from stress, but when you’re not even aware of the stress and it’s being caused by an underpinning situation (like finals period) only you have the power to find and uproot it. A friend’s power to distract should not be confused with the connection you share.

I’ve realized that I need to keep this in mind in law school, especially as I develop new friendships and a new relationship. The low level stress that competition, uncertainty, and not having time to think about anything but school produce can make me doubt if I truly connect with people because their presence doesn’t ease my subconscious panic. But you can’t expect that of people. Even your best friends. And I know I’ll regret not getting close to some of the awesome people I’ve met just because I have a case of the behind-the-scenes crazies.

Like I said before: alienation can’t happen to me.

Do other people experience stress like this? How do you prevent it from taking over?